I haven’t listened to Ariana Grande’s new song “Thank You, Next” yet and who knows if I ever will, but based on my Twitter feed and how they are interpreting the song, I can definitely relate.
Let’s talk about friendship that die. Last year, I cut ties with three friends at once. Same day. Deleted and blocked. Now this is not a post meant to bash anyone because I am bigger than that. Honestly, it was time and I was growing apart from them. It’s normal.
Those three friendships weren’t ordinary. Two of them were at one point people I called best friend and the other one was a close friend because we were college roommates. Would I have been friends with these people if I didn’t see them everyday? Who knows?
I feel like a lot of friendships thrive on the fact that we are around the person everyday, the minute they are no longer a part of our daily lives or routines, shit starts to hit the fan. The texts and phone calls stop, the promises of linking up are broken, when you do talk and catch up something feels off. Most friendships go through this, but there are the ones that survive those dry or awkward spells.I’ve had those too, but that’s for another post.
Once we stopped seeing each other everyday, I knew that two of the friendships were not going to last. It would have to be a long distance friendship and although I’d had those before, something deep in me felt like these weren’t going to last. I see signs way before shit happens and there were so many signs that friendship wasn’t going to last.
Besides the negatives, those friendships did teach me a lot. They taught me how to be a friend and they taught me about myself. I learned that I am the nice friend, but I will be blunt and hold you accountable. I’m not one of those people who’ll smile in your face and let you ruin your life. I’ve noticed that a lot of people cannot handle the truth. Let’s be honest here, the truth hurts. I don’t like hearing the truth sometimes either, but after I get over myself I realize that the truth will in fact set me free and make me a better person.
If my friend comes to me for advice or is telling me about a situation and they want to know how I feel about said situation, best believe I’m telling them the raw and unfiltered truth. If you don’t like it, that’s your problem. If you don’t want to take my advice, again that’s your decision. There comes a point however, that when you’re constantly told, “you’re too blunt” or “you could’ve said that a different way” you just need to cut ties and move on.
I also needed to find friends who were in alignment with what was going on in my life. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t expect all of my friends to be God-fearing Christians, with college degrees and accolades everywhere, but when we are veering off onto two different paths and I can’t relate, I think it’s time to step away.
I would like to thank those three friends for moving out of my way and letting me find other friends who appreciate this rawness. Since cutting ties, I’ve found myself in circles of women, usually older than me who we talk about shit real and raw. I often take advice from these women who would tell me I’m wrong or I should’ve handled that a different way. Yes, sometimes I have to take a step back and privately check myself, dust myself off and take the advice. I’ve found friends that I can relate too and even though we don’t speak or see each other everyday, when we do meet up or talk, we don’t have trouble finding what to talk about. Every moment, friendship, relationship, mistake, accomplishment is a lesson. So, thank you, NEXT.